Sunday, March 2, 2008

Reader Review: 10,000 BC

Copped a preview in Perth Western Australia last night of one of the years first tentpole movies.

The movie with the dodgy CGI sabretooth is a dog. Welcome to the yawn of time. Easily Emmerich's most lifeless epic to date. Indeed the most primitive aspect of this movie is it's purile script. Loaded with leaden cliches, and plodding exposition. Just so flaccidly boring and below average. The land that time forgot is the film that forgets to have a movie in it.

And it has Omar Sharif narrating it. Screen legend. Helluva Bridge player. Ladies man. Kiss of death when he does narration. His last one was "The 13th Warrior". Yes that's right, the Viking movie. Apparently if you mention it to John McTiernan he still runs shrieking from the room.

But I'm old enough to have seen most of the Harryhausen movies and other stop motion epics that live in the memories of my childhood. This movie is aimed at the young audience of today who probably haven't seen '1 Million BC' or 'When Dinosaurs Ruled the Earth' so there maybe something in it for them, but it looks like deadmeat compared to the buzz generated by Indiana Jones, The Dark Knight or The Hulk.

Emmerich is an efficient and skillful craftsman of this sort of thing, but even he seems to have regurgitated his own ideas and as usual, he plunders the B movie genre movie buffet.

The climax? I have no idea. I fell asleep. My companion is not a regular movie goer and she loved it. I thought 'The Day After Tomorrow' was torpid but it cleaned up, so what do I know?

But I'm always worried about a movie when I'm running my own Mystery Science Theatre 3000 commentary in my mind while I'm watching it.



Source: Moviehole

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